Posted August 30 2007
Why is this vacation different from all other vacations?
Oddly enough, there is actually a biblical requirement to go to the
While many do head to
While Passover programs have many naysayers, I would be remiss if I did not enumerate their benefits for those who consider them to be an indulgence almost Catholic in scale. However, in the interest of fairness (and from the experience of having seen every type of guest), I will be bi-partisan enough to admit the faults as well as lay the flattery of such Passover privileges of pleasure, peace, and pina coladas for the precocious and patrician (or even the pleasantly plebian).
To be fair, a guest never stops being who he or she is, meaning that a nice person will make a nice guest and an unpleasant person will make an unpleasant guest. This has nothing to do with the program itself; people who are easy to deal with during the year are just as kind and generous – sometimes more so – on Pesach. But the tough ones…The sense of entitlement that many are encumbered with or the belief in service of the most inane whims at any given moment could drive any program director – or hotel general manager – insane.
Meanwhile, as a guest group, Jews on Passover are awful as far as hotels are concerned. We do not eat in the restaurants – we bring our own food. We do not eat from the mini-bars – we have a tea room. We do not drink in the bar – we have our own liquor (if it can truly be titled such once all the grain alcohol – and even sake – is removed from the list; this year I actually watched a bartender shed tears upon beholding his options). We do not buy from the shops – too many Yom Tov days, up to five out of eight on certain years. Our only advantage is an enormous block of rooms, predictably sold year after year, during a time when most people stay home (the Esater season is typically a light one for most resorts).
Looking at them all laid out like that, the faults don’t seem so bad, especially when you consider the advantages: excellent cuisine, usually served by other people (an advantage for any housewife); someone else to clean your room and make your beds; entertainment for your pleasure and a pool for your relaxation.
But those are all gastronomical and physical concerns; isn’t a holiday supposed to be about spiritual and existential concerns? Many Passover programs offer lectures and speeches galore, as educational and religious personalities are just as eager as the rest of us to avoid cleaning their houses – and some of them have discovered that they can even get paid for spending only a few hours each holiday teaching! While many of these rabbis, teachers, and scholars work as hard over Pesach as they do during the rest of the year, I seriously doubt my rabbi gets duck a l’orange on the seventh night, or a choice of filet mignon or seared tuna steak for the second seder.
If you want to play inside baseball, there is plenty to complain about. Rude guests, non-compliant hotels, constantly changing arrangements and demands, and the sheer stress of creating, then breaking down, an entire Jewish community each year all take their toll on everyone involved. However, I have also seen families that count the days to each Passover, where they can spend uninterrupted time with relatives that live so far away. I have seen people become closer to God and Judaism because of what they learned at an educator’s lecture or class. I have seen friendships blossom, romances grow, and enemies forgive, all because of these once-a-year communities.
After all, what’s life without chocolate mocha-flavored marshmallow-filled macaroons on every table?
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One year I would really like to try one of these uber-Pesach programs. It would be nice to not have to see everyone freak out for weeks in preparation for Pesach.
“You can only eat in the kitchen for the next 3 weeks”
“We don’t have a table or chairs in the kitchen…”
“I guess you’ll be standing a lot more then.”
Chag Sameach!